La vie trépidante d’un père de quatre filles

Être parent, ce n’est pas facile. Être parent de quatre filles, dont des jumelles de dix mois, ressemble à une catastrophe. Pleurs, cris, bagarres, manque de sommeil, mais aussi beaucoup d’amour et d’humour: voici le vrai quotidien d’un père de quatre filles qu’il dévoile sur Instagram.

Simon Hooper et sa femme, Clementine, ont une fille de neuf ans, une de six ans, et des jumelles de dix mois. Hooper partage ses aventures parentales sur son compte Instagram. Ce papa de quatre filles montre la réalité du quotidien des parents et le fait de façon vraiment hilarante!

Voici un aperçu de sa vie:

There used to be a time when Fridays nights meant going out drinking with friends and waking up with a hangover that that would require surgery to remove. However Marnie came home today with the dreaded bi-annual "There are nits / lice going around at school" letter, so our Friday nights are now spent carrying out small scale genocide on colonies of unwanted scalp intruders. @mother_of_daughters & I will now spend the rest of the evening quietly observing each other to see which one of us start scratching our heads first whilst mentally cursing all children everywhere. Awesome. #betteryoustartscratchingafterreadingthis #fridaynightarentwhattheyusedtobe #parenting #keepingitreal #nits #dotheyevenhaveapurpose #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Ноя 18 2016 в 1:02 PST

« Il fut un temps où les vendredis soirs étaient synonymes de sorties, de picole avec les copains et de gueule de bois au réveil qui nécessitaient une opération pour s'en débarrasser. Et pourtant, Marnie est revenue à la maison aujourd'hui avec une nouvelle terrifiante: "Il y a des lentes et des poux à l'école". Donc, nos vendredis soirs servent désormais à exterminer des colonies de petits intrus sur le cuir chevelu. »

Well that was fun. @mother_of_daughters is away with the eldest 2 so I have the twins. Delilah was up & down last night more than a yoyo who'd necked a crate of redbull. As a dad, I usually have inbuilt noise cancelling and can sleep through an thrash metal gig but last night was something else. The neighbours must have thought I was skinning cats with a wooden spoon at 3.30am — the noise was endless — the kind of noise that cuts through you & drains you of any memory of who you are or what you're doing until your brain dribbles out you ear. They seem to have forgotten the whole experience and moved on. I'll just scoop up my eye bags so they don't drag on the floor. To top it all, the car is broken so I can't get to my brother's birthday. A shocker of a day so far. #brainonthefloor #alongwiththeeyebags #brokencar #twins #comehomeplease #parenting #fatherofdaughter #dadlife #instadad

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Ноя 20 2016 в 3:42 PST

« En tant que papa, j'ai l'habitude d'ignorer le bruit et je peux dormir même lors d'un concert de thrash metal, mais la nuit dernière, c'était autre chose. Les voisins doivent avoir pensé que je dépouillais des chats avec une cuillère en bois à 3h30 — le bruit était interminable, ce genre de bruit qui vous ôte tout souvenir de votre personnalité. »

Someone call crime watch! I took this picture of a guy getting mugged in broad day light today. The 2 confidence tricksters are known in the local area and ply their trade by pretending to love their victims and then, when their guard is down, scratching their faces to pieces, pulling their hair and dribbling on them until they are given milk or rice cakes. The suspects are described as looking exactly the same, to the degree that their father cant tell them apart. They are around 2.5 ft tall, talk with a strange accent and are incredibly cute. Some previous victims had said they smell like a childrens play centre toilets but that has yet to be confirmed. #muggedbybabies #twins #parentinginjuries #thelmaandlouiseinthemaking #callcrimewatch #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Окт 6 2016 в 1:17 PDT

« Que quelqu'un appelle la brigade judiciaire! J'ai pris cette photo d'un gars agressé en plein jour. Les deux friponnes sont connues de la police locale et font leur business en prétendant aimer leur victime. Une fois que sa garde est baissée, elles réduisent son visage en morceaux en le grattant, lui tirent les cheveux et bavent dessus jusqu'à ce qu'on leur donne du lait ou des gâteaux au riz. Les suspectes se ressemblent comme deux gouttes d'eau, à tel point que leur père ne peut les différencier. Elles mesurent 76 cm, parlent avec un étrange accent et sont incroyablement mignonnes. »

Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space — but it's doubtful! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Окт 23 2016 в 12:00 PDT

« Est-ce seulement moi ou tous les hommes apprennent-ils à dormir sur une bande de 20 centimètres au bord du lit? Je suis devenu tellement habitué à dormir sur cette zone limitée, que je pourrais dormir au-dessus d'un mur et ne pas tomber. »

Bed time for the twins is supposed to be a quiet affair so they can relax & drift off, leaving us to collapse into a human shaped heap on the sofa. Of course, that's not possible when the 2 eldest have decided to start what I'm guessing is a Taylor Swift impression karaoke sing off that involves shouting, wrestling and door slamming. They are directly above us & what we can hear can only described as drunk macho elephants fighting over the mic. There is actually paint coming off the ceiling. Of course when these 2 grow up, they just going to add to the noise. Thinking about buying a flat down the road, i'll just Skype them from my sound proof room. #elephantkaroke #canyousoundproofyourownhead #whydoeseveythinghavetobedoneatmaxvolume #talkingisalostart #girls #fatherofdaughter #dadlife #instadad

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Ноя 21 2016 в 12:31 PST

« Bien sûr, quand ces deux-là vont grandir, elles vont ajouter du bruit. J'envisage d'acheter plus tard un appartement, je vais juste les appeler sur Skype depuis ma chambre insonorisée », déplore-t-il.

This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no 'front bottoms' or 'nunnys' in this house, it's strictly a 'vagina' affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she's chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites — "do you wear a condom daddy?" Me — "Yes". Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. "Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?" I laughed proudly — "Way more……like at least 9 or 10 times" (I didn't want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). Can wait to until she asks if I've ever masturbated…..I will actually curl up in a ball and die #sexeducation #shestheadultimthechild #sheknowsmorethanme #dontaskaboutmasturbationorilldie #ivedoneitloads #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Ноя 10 2016 в 1:02 PST

Tomorrow is international day of the girl and I, more than most, am celebrating. I might be heavily outnumbered and outgunned, but I'm celebrating because my girls are strong independent young ladies that are growing up in a world that they can do anything they put their mind to (with a little encouragement). We strive for equality and see women as equals (and in my case, as superiors!). That said, in many places girls are seen as second class citizens and have limited opportunities to reach their full potential. This has to change. Go kiss your girls goodnight & encourage them everyday to reach for the stars. Tag a strong girl and share. #mygirlswearthetrousers #daughters #dayofthegirl #girlsareequals #girlsarestrong #sisters #mygirls #girlsareamazing #beproudofyoudaughters #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Окт 10 2016 в 12:39 PDT

 

Teething is now in full effect and the girls want us to know all about it. An email would have sufficed but it seems they'd rather use their voices to get the message across that they really aren't enjoying this stage of development. Its not straight screaming, it's more like the sound a wounded animal might make that just wants to end it all. I can't blame them though, it's like a mini scene from 'Alien' in there at the moment, just in very very slow motion (and of course teeth don't then go on to kill you and the crew of your ship so a few subtle differences but essentially the same). #canyoubulkbuybonjela #teethinglikealien #twins #thisisntfunforanyone #doubleteethingisnotdoublethefun #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #daddydentist

Фото опубликовано Simon (@father_of_daughters) Сен 21 2016 в 1:06 PDT

 

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